"Cats are my favorite animal." -- Rick Perry, O.J. Simpson, Satan
Cats are truly creatures of malice and deceit. They love nothing and scratch everything, and they will kill you and feed off your remains the very first chance they get. The only reasons cats haven't completely taken over yet are that, without you, the cat would have no litter box waste-removal service, and.. They don't have thumbs. But they're working on the thumbs, and then we are all screwed. Cats reproduce more quickly and more efficiently than we do. They stay pregnant for fraction of the time people do, and then when they have their nasty cat babies, they have MORE THAN ONE at a time. We are reacting to this crisis by domesticating and loving these furry mutants.
If you so much as move near a cat, cat thinks, "Now she wants to play, and I should immediately retract my claws and wreck her her life." Then they purr innocently and beg you to think that they are adorable, but this is a deceitful tactic. The second your heart fills with adoration and your mind with false security, it will initiate an attack.
I would rather encounter this:
than this:
Any day.
I feel sick just looking at it. Filthy little booger.
It's actually an evolutionary advantage for humans to be allergic to cats, so if that's you, you're one of the lucky ones. Eventually natural selection will ensure that all of us keep our distance. Antihistamine or not, it's just not worth it.
Even if you dress them like Pikachus..
They still hate you.
And what else could we expect, from the nephew of the tiger and the first cousin of Lucifer?
Disgusting.
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